You know sometimes I check my Nuffnang stats and all and also keywords that people search for before coming to my blog and I get the weirdest results............

But the one that amused me greatly was:

ahfalalalapom.

Chong Aik, is that you, seriously? Because I don't know anyone else you would do this you know HAHAHAHA. Anyway, if you are reading this, I can't wait for Friday!


Also, I've fallen in love with the most gorgeous Mulberry bag ever. The Alexa bag is a classic on its own and it looks so effortlessly chic. I've seen it so many times online and every time I do I wish it was mine. I love messenger bags for their shape and structure and how they look somewhat androgynous to me.

Couple of years back there was this fashion craze locally where lots of girls wanted 'Postman' bags, which I guess are rather similar to or the same as messenger bags. Come to think of it, now the trend is somewhat back. Click here to see such bags.



Sigh but it's so expensive. Oh well a girl can dream...


Anyway, today I was dragged out of bed by my mum to Turf City and I literally spent the entire day doing NOTHING there except eat and fall asleep a couple of times in the storage room. At least dance tomorrow will get me off my butt. But I swear it's a bad routine because everytime I get back from dance I watch videos on Youtube and get so aggravated at how smooth people can look while I seriously need to loosen up.

Fingers crossed fingers crossed.


Gee I'm the most boring blogger ever.

Past 3 days were spent at Clarke Quay with my mum at the riverside market and I've been spending all the time with my family too...feels really, really good! Like I'm protected all the time (Although sometimes my mum says the worse shit) and fed regularly hehe.

I think I'm such a pig. A permanent one at that.

Hehe brb, people.

My head and heart refuse to rest and this is taking a toll on me. And my hair sucks.

Spent another day at the airport today with Taufiq and I was so happy to eat Popeye's. Then shortly after we ate chicken murtabak and now I feel like puking my guts out.


FML.

It's exactly 2.30 AM on the dot and I am in awe after reading young Tavi Gevinson's blog. This girl is only 13 and she has already made her own name in the scene of fashion bloggers, has been invited to fashion shows (front-row seat!) and given free clothes by designers.

I absolutely love reading her reviews on the season's latest fashion because well...being young she's just incredibly quirky, and yet she is able to dish out knowledge beyond her years. I am gonna folllow her blog! Also, I really admire people who can pick out the details in clothes and liken fabrics to ideas and personality blah blah the list goes on...

I'm so impressed. Plus, she is supposedly anti-social. I'm guessing this is one of the good things that can come out of sticking yourself in front of your laptop all day long and observing the ever-changing glitzy world of clothes, shoes and bags...

Thank goodness I had such a great distraction that provided me from letting my thoughts run I just hope everything is gonna work out.


Tee hee and I hope this stops xiaomeimeis from unsightly spiked hairstyles, ankle socks and whatnot.

And while we're on clothes, I hate how I can't find clothes that I am looking for when I need to wear them. Or maybe I should just go all out fashion crazy and slip on a bubblewrap dress.



Dang, I promise to sleep by 3! Wanna get up early and get myself some really nice breakfast.

Today was a really good day because...

- I bought Nong Shim instant noodles! The one that everyone says is really good cos of the cheese and all. My brother's excited too. HAHAHA.

- Oh and he built me a really awesome modern house in Sims so I forgive him for all the idiotic things he has done so far until he repeats them.

- I got mail!!

- I bought the really useless and expensive Hello Kitty keychain thingum from 7-11 I have been thinking about for ages.

- Dimsum for brunch!!!! Yummy Western for dinner.


In all, I resolve to go out with my family more often.

And now I feel slightly creeped out, after reading my latest entry (Which was on Aug 29 last year) on another blog.


"It just suddenly struck me, that at some point of our lives, we would have to go through giving up something we love, letting go of something we hold dear to, or letting a time that we wanted stopped pass by not knowing whether or not we have fully lived it when it was once The Present."

I feel like I foreshadowed my own shit.

I don't think I will ever be ready for school, I'm enjoying the holidays far too much. Anyway, nice job TPDE Gem 5 was amazing!! Makes me wanna become an awesome dancer.

Seriously dying for an escape. So sick of this place sigh. Sometimes I head out of the house and realise I have no where to go.


/Edit

Did a personality test Jac asked me to do and here are my results:

"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types."

INFJ = 74% introverted, 79% intuition, 68% feeling, 58% judging

My personality suggests that one of my jobs in the future could be as a writer! And also...a CHILD DEVELOPER!!

Anyway, there are supposedly 16 personality types and mine is the rarest, being a confidant. I feel like a Pokemon.



I was looking through Facebook and untagging photos of myself (I HAVE 1K + PHOTOS OK PEOPLE TOO MANY!) and I saw this, taken two days before my birthday this year, at the surprise party everyone did for me. I couldn't express my gratitude then or even blog about it properly but I was really, really, really happy. I had never felt so loved by friends since that time in Sec 3 when Lai Han and Chong Aik brought out a cake after the end of the secondary 1 orientation, so really, thank you every single one of you!

Thank you for the flowers, thank you for the singing, the food, the presents, the cake, the cards, the well wishes, the money spent, the gorgeous venue...every single thing. And most of all, for the love!

I don't deserve friends like this I really don't. :)

And when the new semester starts I'm gonna miss every thing we shared in the past 1 year, but I am fearless and I hope to see even greater things in CMM. I don't wanna be let down.


Love you guys!



P/S Look how long my hair was!!!





Or something close to this called the Cosmos Star Sky Starry Night Projector Light Lamp.



And a 32GB iTouch. Once I find something to do with my Classic.


It's 2.05 AM. Gonna sleep now and try to ignore the fact that I have disappeared from your life.

I have not been to school in weeks and just today I went for like...maybe less than 5 hours for deco and now I am officially bushed. People please do not mistake my constant humiliating myself in public as me being the energizer bunny anymore because I am running on spare batteries urgggh. Jean, Eudora and Nava are flying off on Friday and I am gonna miss them. Wish so bad I am gonna be on that plane to Perth with them.

I feel like 18 going on 80.

Cher, may tomorrow be an even better day for you at work. I miss you already and I will eat dinner with you at vivo someday when Sn is in army and you are lonely. And people who randomly ask my on MSN 'How are you!!!!!!!!!!!' with crazy enthusiasm I am for the 101th time perfectly functional and fine. In fact I think I have been eating even more than usual, which is pure scary.

Goodnight world please don't take anything more away from me.



And happy 18th birthday Jonathan! :) Stop being so weird. HAHA.

As we speak, my screen is bobbing dangerously up and down. Ok, maybe not so drastically, but it IS indeed in bad shape. Therefore, I am trying to squeeze all the stuff I have on this laptop into my hard disk (Really old, I need a new one!) and desktop so that I can send this baby for repairs ASAP.

Mmhmm my life is so interesting like that.

Anyway, yesterday I finally got to see SHINee live! I would have totally went the first round they came if the tickets didn't bloody cost S$150. And I am definitely a very reason-minded fan so I will not blow that amount of money to see them unless it's a full-fledged concert.

I nearly had a heart attack yesterday when Cher called and shrieked that she had forgotten to bring her memory card. And she was all the way in Kallang ice skating!!!!

Wah can you imagine, one of the most important days of my life so far in 2010 and she forgot to bring her camera's memory card = no pictures!!!!!!!!

In the end she went all the way back home to get it and we thought we were gonna be late but in the end we realised we could be late for maybe 3 hours and it wouldn't have mattered because SHINee was the last act (So clever hor, organisers!).






We were at row 10! View wasn't bad but could be better though. I definitely have to try out being in the moshpit one day.......and attempt to survive hahaha.











Sibei sian waiting for SHINee.

Was VERY trigger happy at first while Cher looked like someone had died ha.ha.ha. Quoted from her, 'I rush like some dog just now leh!'



Got dark before we knew it. I'm always trying to pay attention to when the sun is gonna set so I can see the whole process of the light sky turning dark but it's always...major fail.





Very excited at colourful mo tian lun I shook like crazy. Def not because I have no skills HAHAH.

















For fangirls. Not much interested though. Cher claims she wasn't but took down a 10 min recording while he was singing! No wonder cam died when SHINee came on HAHAHA.



I like Olivia!



Mr Owl.








After three thousand years...SHINee!

Could totally imagine how crazy the atmosphere was, with almost everyone standing up on their chairs, waving boards/lightsticks/attempting to shove cameras into the sky. We remained calm and just recorded the performances down okay! Should totally get media passes 'cos we'll get to meet SHINee up close and be 101% assured of not yanking their hair out.







HAD to take a picture of Onew, even if it's damn lousy - those pixels are made up of his face ok!! Hahahahah.

Lots of people were saying Jonghyun looked like he was at a funeral but......it is either I am too rational or just blind because I was just soaking in their hotness. Really. And blah I don't really care for the speculations on whether or not he was really unhappy to be there because I was happy to see him and that's all that matters. Can't really control how they feel right (Just control your behaviour next time crajee fangirls next time an artiste comes to town for the first time if that still bugs you) plus there are a 1001 reasons for him to feel upset/tired/bored etc.

All those who walked off after SHINee's performance ended (which was ALOT OF PEOPLE LAH HAHAHAH), maybe Jonghyun hates you because of your lousy fan attitude la hor.

But actually, I totally dig his cool I-don't-give-a-shit look.

And Key and Taemin were especially cuteee. I'm glad they performed 'Noona, you're so pretty' (Plus JoJo and Ring Ding Dong). CA, your fave song!

Didn't get good shots of SHINee so obviously we ended up camwhoring like crazy, explains all the photos of us only right. Eh Cher, El even commented on FB asking where the SHINee pics were!!!!

Now I think we really took too many photos.













Contemplated going to SHINee's showcase today but...oh well. Not like we missed much. Seriously praying SM goes bonkers and decides to invest in their artistes coming down here. I love C.N Blue, Big Bang, 2NE1, 2AM and all but if SM comes down it would mean the most value right.

OH and today, my sister bought her iTouch, with her own money. Told you my 14 year old is richer than me. FML. She is happy with her beautiful new toy as my life gets more miserable by the second!!!!! URRRRRRRR. Can't wait to get mine.

It's too indulgent to get an iTouch...but seriously I love my Classic to death and the largest reason I am not letting it go is because it is friggin 120GB! Ok I know now in the market there is no more 120GB iPod classics only 160GB but you don't need that much unless you're a hardcore music junkie.

Plus I just Gmasked it less than a year ago!

Anyone interested in buying a 1 year old 120GB iPod Classic? In really good condition, I swear, unless the person Gmasking it killed it during the process because I heard some of them make mistakes and accidentally scratch the iPod and all. But it looks 100% new, no scratches on the back or anything.





Eh but honestly I wouldn't sell it to friends because very scary you know like I'm just afraid I won't live up to your expectations or anything. Hahah. If you are a stranger PM me.

Quote a price but don't be ridiculous ok I know the market HAHA.

Will only provide better pictures to serious people. I know it looks very ugly here but my webcam sucks.


And I am 2 bucks away from cashing out a Nuffnang cheque! And I am going to see SHINee tomorrow! And my life is a total mess right now!

Urrr.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH. Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your Awakening.


You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

- Sonny Carroll



Found this on Tumblr, and I feel every single word here. However amazing though, words are just words afterall. Quotes and phrases are strung together prettily in ways you cannot quite put a finger on that make so much sense, but only because we allow them to.

I believe that this awakening ought to come to everyone strongly and properly once in their lives.

Maybe they might falter along the way - but once it hits you, you know it will never really go away.

I am waiting for it to hit me. Don't shit me saying I can wake up whenever I want to. It's just not possible. It's like telling me not to feel. I want to be well and ready that this can never mess with my head and heart again. But I am hopeful, and I am hoping it will come soon. And when that day comes, I will not feel resentful, will not feel beat up every night before I go to bed, and...


I will learn to let people in again.


Times like this I miss you and I wish I could ask you if you did too. But I'll be ok someday.

Caught Up In The Air today and it is an amazing show. You know I always hear people talking about how George Clooney is so hot and all that...and now I really believe so! Ok what I really mean is that for a 49 year old man he is really charming, has a great smile and is absolutely full of charisma.



Basically, everyone should watch this because it is something different from the chick flicks and disappointing Alice in Wonderland that are in cinemas now. It's clean-cut and refreshing, def one of the better movies I've watched in a long time.


And also...






Kim Hyun Joong



Jung Yong Hwa

Could easily mistake them for the same person.

So similar and soooooo cute. I think the scriptwriters of Goong, Boys Over Flowers and You're Beautiful decided that in every teen idol drama there is a need to instill a hot young man that never gets the girl. With You're Beautiful being the most recent, Yong Hwa is Cher and my new obsession! But seeing him in We Got Married with Seo Hyun makes me feel a little strange. I think it's cos...SHE IS SO AWKWARD.

He's handsome beyond words though. Sigh.

Watched Alice in Wonderland with Kt today and the movie was.....hmm not as amazing as I thought it would b. He showed me his locking moves before the movie and haha it was retarded two people on the street listening to music and dancing. Mhmm and a new week is kicking off it's kinda a whirlwind, but I'm gonna be seeing SHINee with Cher the coming Saturday so it is a plus!!

Sigh ok hungry at 2.24 AM when I wanted to puke from KFC just now...


And tired to the max. K goodnight world I have no idea what his post is for.

Spent my day out with Cher and then met CA for a while today. He is probably on the plane to Tokyo now. I won't miss him because it's only for a few days I probably won't even notice when he's back. But seriously talking to him makes me damn envious because he has been to 15 (Maybe more he only remembered 15!) countries. 15 friggin countries!! How many teenagers have travelled that much? Plus his list includes places like Amsterdam, Rica, Italy...

One day I will be travelling just like him. I swear.


Anyway pictures because Cher has got her new camera!!! My bad hair day. I hateeeeeeeeee bad hair days. They almost equal to bad days.













Almost twin expressions leh. HAHAHA.











Tried shopping but couldn't find any nice clothes - always the case when you have money.



Caramel Mocha Frappe.











I love you and thanks for being supportive and understanding me best. You always make me feel better about myself as a person. Everytime I think I'm in deep shit I think about all you went through and know I will able to make it through too - for a better outcome. And I am truly glad you are happy now!

And after looking at so many photos of girls with nice hair......I am very tempted to get shorter hair! Like just at shoulder length. But it looks really ugly if you don't maintain it by blowdrying and everything to get the right curve and all ahh so difficult to explain.

Took a 2 hour nap when I got home just now but I still feel like I am self-destructing. So that equals to...Bed > You're Beautiful.


Btw in case you guys do not realise we are already 1/4 into 2010 please start doing productive things people! (Note to self, really.)


It's all about your perspective on things.

You know sometimes I check my Nuffnang stats and all and also keywords that people search for before coming to my blog and I get the weirdest results............

But the one that amused me greatly was:

ahfalalalapom.

Chong Aik, is that you, seriously? Because I don't know anyone else you would do this you know HAHAHAHA. Anyway, if you are reading this, I can't wait for Friday!


Also, I've fallen in love with the most gorgeous Mulberry bag ever. The Alexa bag is a classic on its own and it looks so effortlessly chic. I've seen it so many times online and every time I do I wish it was mine. I love messenger bags for their shape and structure and how they look somewhat androgynous to me.

Couple of years back there was this fashion craze locally where lots of girls wanted 'Postman' bags, which I guess are rather similar to or the same as messenger bags. Come to think of it, now the trend is somewhat back. Click here to see such bags.



Sigh but it's so expensive. Oh well a girl can dream...


Anyway, today I was dragged out of bed by my mum to Turf City and I literally spent the entire day doing NOTHING there except eat and fall asleep a couple of times in the storage room. At least dance tomorrow will get me off my butt. But I swear it's a bad routine because everytime I get back from dance I watch videos on Youtube and get so aggravated at how smooth people can look while I seriously need to loosen up.

Fingers crossed fingers crossed.


Gee I'm the most boring blogger ever.

Past 3 days were spent at Clarke Quay with my mum at the riverside market and I've been spending all the time with my family too...feels really, really good! Like I'm protected all the time (Although sometimes my mum says the worse shit) and fed regularly hehe.

I think I'm such a pig. A permanent one at that.

Hehe brb, people.

My head and heart refuse to rest and this is taking a toll on me. And my hair sucks.

Spent another day at the airport today with Taufiq and I was so happy to eat Popeye's. Then shortly after we ate chicken murtabak and now I feel like puking my guts out.


FML.

It's exactly 2.30 AM on the dot and I am in awe after reading young Tavi Gevinson's blog. This girl is only 13 and she has already made her own name in the scene of fashion bloggers, has been invited to fashion shows (front-row seat!) and given free clothes by designers.

I absolutely love reading her reviews on the season's latest fashion because well...being young she's just incredibly quirky, and yet she is able to dish out knowledge beyond her years. I am gonna folllow her blog! Also, I really admire people who can pick out the details in clothes and liken fabrics to ideas and personality blah blah the list goes on...

I'm so impressed. Plus, she is supposedly anti-social. I'm guessing this is one of the good things that can come out of sticking yourself in front of your laptop all day long and observing the ever-changing glitzy world of clothes, shoes and bags...

Thank goodness I had such a great distraction that provided me from letting my thoughts run I just hope everything is gonna work out.


Tee hee and I hope this stops xiaomeimeis from unsightly spiked hairstyles, ankle socks and whatnot.

And while we're on clothes, I hate how I can't find clothes that I am looking for when I need to wear them. Or maybe I should just go all out fashion crazy and slip on a bubblewrap dress.



Dang, I promise to sleep by 3! Wanna get up early and get myself some really nice breakfast.

Today was a really good day because...

- I bought Nong Shim instant noodles! The one that everyone says is really good cos of the cheese and all. My brother's excited too. HAHAHA.

- Oh and he built me a really awesome modern house in Sims so I forgive him for all the idiotic things he has done so far until he repeats them.

- I got mail!!

- I bought the really useless and expensive Hello Kitty keychain thingum from 7-11 I have been thinking about for ages.

- Dimsum for brunch!!!! Yummy Western for dinner.


In all, I resolve to go out with my family more often.

And now I feel slightly creeped out, after reading my latest entry (Which was on Aug 29 last year) on another blog.


"It just suddenly struck me, that at some point of our lives, we would have to go through giving up something we love, letting go of something we hold dear to, or letting a time that we wanted stopped pass by not knowing whether or not we have fully lived it when it was once The Present."

I feel like I foreshadowed my own shit.

I don't think I will ever be ready for school, I'm enjoying the holidays far too much. Anyway, nice job TPDE Gem 5 was amazing!! Makes me wanna become an awesome dancer.

Seriously dying for an escape. So sick of this place sigh. Sometimes I head out of the house and realise I have no where to go.


/Edit

Did a personality test Jac asked me to do and here are my results:

"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types."

INFJ = 74% introverted, 79% intuition, 68% feeling, 58% judging

My personality suggests that one of my jobs in the future could be as a writer! And also...a CHILD DEVELOPER!!

Anyway, there are supposedly 16 personality types and mine is the rarest, being a confidant. I feel like a Pokemon.



I was looking through Facebook and untagging photos of myself (I HAVE 1K + PHOTOS OK PEOPLE TOO MANY!) and I saw this, taken two days before my birthday this year, at the surprise party everyone did for me. I couldn't express my gratitude then or even blog about it properly but I was really, really, really happy. I had never felt so loved by friends since that time in Sec 3 when Lai Han and Chong Aik brought out a cake after the end of the secondary 1 orientation, so really, thank you every single one of you!

Thank you for the flowers, thank you for the singing, the food, the presents, the cake, the cards, the well wishes, the money spent, the gorgeous venue...every single thing. And most of all, for the love!

I don't deserve friends like this I really don't. :)

And when the new semester starts I'm gonna miss every thing we shared in the past 1 year, but I am fearless and I hope to see even greater things in CMM. I don't wanna be let down.


Love you guys!



P/S Look how long my hair was!!!





Or something close to this called the Cosmos Star Sky Starry Night Projector Light Lamp.



And a 32GB iTouch. Once I find something to do with my Classic.


It's 2.05 AM. Gonna sleep now and try to ignore the fact that I have disappeared from your life.

I have not been to school in weeks and just today I went for like...maybe less than 5 hours for deco and now I am officially bushed. People please do not mistake my constant humiliating myself in public as me being the energizer bunny anymore because I am running on spare batteries urgggh. Jean, Eudora and Nava are flying off on Friday and I am gonna miss them. Wish so bad I am gonna be on that plane to Perth with them.

I feel like 18 going on 80.

Cher, may tomorrow be an even better day for you at work. I miss you already and I will eat dinner with you at vivo someday when Sn is in army and you are lonely. And people who randomly ask my on MSN 'How are you!!!!!!!!!!!' with crazy enthusiasm I am for the 101th time perfectly functional and fine. In fact I think I have been eating even more than usual, which is pure scary.

Goodnight world please don't take anything more away from me.



And happy 18th birthday Jonathan! :) Stop being so weird. HAHA.

As we speak, my screen is bobbing dangerously up and down. Ok, maybe not so drastically, but it IS indeed in bad shape. Therefore, I am trying to squeeze all the stuff I have on this laptop into my hard disk (Really old, I need a new one!) and desktop so that I can send this baby for repairs ASAP.

Mmhmm my life is so interesting like that.

Anyway, yesterday I finally got to see SHINee live! I would have totally went the first round they came if the tickets didn't bloody cost S$150. And I am definitely a very reason-minded fan so I will not blow that amount of money to see them unless it's a full-fledged concert.

I nearly had a heart attack yesterday when Cher called and shrieked that she had forgotten to bring her memory card. And she was all the way in Kallang ice skating!!!!

Wah can you imagine, one of the most important days of my life so far in 2010 and she forgot to bring her camera's memory card = no pictures!!!!!!!!

In the end she went all the way back home to get it and we thought we were gonna be late but in the end we realised we could be late for maybe 3 hours and it wouldn't have mattered because SHINee was the last act (So clever hor, organisers!).






We were at row 10! View wasn't bad but could be better though. I definitely have to try out being in the moshpit one day.......and attempt to survive hahaha.











Sibei sian waiting for SHINee.

Was VERY trigger happy at first while Cher looked like someone had died ha.ha.ha. Quoted from her, 'I rush like some dog just now leh!'



Got dark before we knew it. I'm always trying to pay attention to when the sun is gonna set so I can see the whole process of the light sky turning dark but it's always...major fail.





Very excited at colourful mo tian lun I shook like crazy. Def not because I have no skills HAHAH.

















For fangirls. Not much interested though. Cher claims she wasn't but took down a 10 min recording while he was singing! No wonder cam died when SHINee came on HAHAHA.



I like Olivia!



Mr Owl.








After three thousand years...SHINee!

Could totally imagine how crazy the atmosphere was, with almost everyone standing up on their chairs, waving boards/lightsticks/attempting to shove cameras into the sky. We remained calm and just recorded the performances down okay! Should totally get media passes 'cos we'll get to meet SHINee up close and be 101% assured of not yanking their hair out.







HAD to take a picture of Onew, even if it's damn lousy - those pixels are made up of his face ok!! Hahahahah.

Lots of people were saying Jonghyun looked like he was at a funeral but......it is either I am too rational or just blind because I was just soaking in their hotness. Really. And blah I don't really care for the speculations on whether or not he was really unhappy to be there because I was happy to see him and that's all that matters. Can't really control how they feel right (Just control your behaviour next time crajee fangirls next time an artiste comes to town for the first time if that still bugs you) plus there are a 1001 reasons for him to feel upset/tired/bored etc.

All those who walked off after SHINee's performance ended (which was ALOT OF PEOPLE LAH HAHAHAH), maybe Jonghyun hates you because of your lousy fan attitude la hor.

But actually, I totally dig his cool I-don't-give-a-shit look.

And Key and Taemin were especially cuteee. I'm glad they performed 'Noona, you're so pretty' (Plus JoJo and Ring Ding Dong). CA, your fave song!

Didn't get good shots of SHINee so obviously we ended up camwhoring like crazy, explains all the photos of us only right. Eh Cher, El even commented on FB asking where the SHINee pics were!!!!

Now I think we really took too many photos.













Contemplated going to SHINee's showcase today but...oh well. Not like we missed much. Seriously praying SM goes bonkers and decides to invest in their artistes coming down here. I love C.N Blue, Big Bang, 2NE1, 2AM and all but if SM comes down it would mean the most value right.

OH and today, my sister bought her iTouch, with her own money. Told you my 14 year old is richer than me. FML. She is happy with her beautiful new toy as my life gets more miserable by the second!!!!! URRRRRRRR. Can't wait to get mine.

It's too indulgent to get an iTouch...but seriously I love my Classic to death and the largest reason I am not letting it go is because it is friggin 120GB! Ok I know now in the market there is no more 120GB iPod classics only 160GB but you don't need that much unless you're a hardcore music junkie.

Plus I just Gmasked it less than a year ago!

Anyone interested in buying a 1 year old 120GB iPod Classic? In really good condition, I swear, unless the person Gmasking it killed it during the process because I heard some of them make mistakes and accidentally scratch the iPod and all. But it looks 100% new, no scratches on the back or anything.





Eh but honestly I wouldn't sell it to friends because very scary you know like I'm just afraid I won't live up to your expectations or anything. Hahah. If you are a stranger PM me.

Quote a price but don't be ridiculous ok I know the market HAHA.

Will only provide better pictures to serious people. I know it looks very ugly here but my webcam sucks.


And I am 2 bucks away from cashing out a Nuffnang cheque! And I am going to see SHINee tomorrow! And my life is a total mess right now!

Urrr.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH. Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your Awakening.


You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

- Sonny Carroll



Found this on Tumblr, and I feel every single word here. However amazing though, words are just words afterall. Quotes and phrases are strung together prettily in ways you cannot quite put a finger on that make so much sense, but only because we allow them to.

I believe that this awakening ought to come to everyone strongly and properly once in their lives.

Maybe they might falter along the way - but once it hits you, you know it will never really go away.

I am waiting for it to hit me. Don't shit me saying I can wake up whenever I want to. It's just not possible. It's like telling me not to feel. I want to be well and ready that this can never mess with my head and heart again. But I am hopeful, and I am hoping it will come soon. And when that day comes, I will not feel resentful, will not feel beat up every night before I go to bed, and...


I will learn to let people in again.


Times like this I miss you and I wish I could ask you if you did too. But I'll be ok someday.

Caught Up In The Air today and it is an amazing show. You know I always hear people talking about how George Clooney is so hot and all that...and now I really believe so! Ok what I really mean is that for a 49 year old man he is really charming, has a great smile and is absolutely full of charisma.



Basically, everyone should watch this because it is something different from the chick flicks and disappointing Alice in Wonderland that are in cinemas now. It's clean-cut and refreshing, def one of the better movies I've watched in a long time.


And also...






Kim Hyun Joong



Jung Yong Hwa

Could easily mistake them for the same person.

So similar and soooooo cute. I think the scriptwriters of Goong, Boys Over Flowers and You're Beautiful decided that in every teen idol drama there is a need to instill a hot young man that never gets the girl. With You're Beautiful being the most recent, Yong Hwa is Cher and my new obsession! But seeing him in We Got Married with Seo Hyun makes me feel a little strange. I think it's cos...SHE IS SO AWKWARD.

He's handsome beyond words though. Sigh.

Watched Alice in Wonderland with Kt today and the movie was.....hmm not as amazing as I thought it would b. He showed me his locking moves before the movie and haha it was retarded two people on the street listening to music and dancing. Mhmm and a new week is kicking off it's kinda a whirlwind, but I'm gonna be seeing SHINee with Cher the coming Saturday so it is a plus!!

Sigh ok hungry at 2.24 AM when I wanted to puke from KFC just now...


And tired to the max. K goodnight world I have no idea what his post is for.

Spent my day out with Cher and then met CA for a while today. He is probably on the plane to Tokyo now. I won't miss him because it's only for a few days I probably won't even notice when he's back. But seriously talking to him makes me damn envious because he has been to 15 (Maybe more he only remembered 15!) countries. 15 friggin countries!! How many teenagers have travelled that much? Plus his list includes places like Amsterdam, Rica, Italy...

One day I will be travelling just like him. I swear.


Anyway pictures because Cher has got her new camera!!! My bad hair day. I hateeeeeeeeee bad hair days. They almost equal to bad days.













Almost twin expressions leh. HAHAHA.











Tried shopping but couldn't find any nice clothes - always the case when you have money.



Caramel Mocha Frappe.











I love you and thanks for being supportive and understanding me best. You always make me feel better about myself as a person. Everytime I think I'm in deep shit I think about all you went through and know I will able to make it through too - for a better outcome. And I am truly glad you are happy now!

And after looking at so many photos of girls with nice hair......I am very tempted to get shorter hair! Like just at shoulder length. But it looks really ugly if you don't maintain it by blowdrying and everything to get the right curve and all ahh so difficult to explain.

Took a 2 hour nap when I got home just now but I still feel like I am self-destructing. So that equals to...Bed > You're Beautiful.


Btw in case you guys do not realise we are already 1/4 into 2010 please start doing productive things people! (Note to self, really.)


It's all about your perspective on things.